20 Ways To Be A CheapAss In This Recession!

16 January 2009

Recession schmession, credit chrunch fredit mrunch. I’m speaking in tongues now.

I’ve vomited up a quick list of 20 ideas to help you save some money in these depressingly frugal times. Hold on to your hats:

  1. Eat At Home. Sounds simple… but eating at home costs less than eating out at fancy-schmancy restaurants.
  2. Use less toilet paper. Just use less sheets to wipe your ass! Or use recycled. It may save you some money.
  3. Drive Slower. Consider your gas efficiency…. Accelerate slower, keep tyres at optimum pressure, less weight in your car, don’t drive fat people to work… there are loads of tips on this point.
  4. Go to the library. Apparently they rent books at libraries now too! Believe it or not! Libraries are a lot busier these days. You can even read the daily papers there. For FREE.
  5. Sell? What about a garage sale? Ebay? I’m sure you have hundreds of dollars worth of crap lying round that you could flog to some unsuspecting thickos for a few bucks.
  6. Quit smoking. Dirty, filthy habit! Say you spend $5 a day on smokes. That’s $1800 per year. That’s a lot of moolah. That could buy you quite a few nights of passion with your chosen sex trade workers. Or not.
  7. Rent a room. If you live in the city and have a spare room, consider letting it out, to a student perhaps? Or an axe murderer? Either would be good.
  8. Clip coupons. Come on, we’re on Bargainmoose, we all know about this one! There are plenty of online coupon codes and printable coupons to choose from!
  9. Make your own coffee. Skip the Starbucks, take a break from the Timmies. Buy a travel mug and use it to bring your own coffee to work. Sure it may taste like crap, but it’s free. Practically.
  10. Cut up credit cards. Radical, I know. But if you don’t have credit cards, you can’t use them. Makes sense to me!
  11. Join newsletters. If you still want to spend, follow the instruction in the How To Get Free Coupons And Discount Deals blog post. Milk those global conglomerates for all that you can.
  12. Get cashback.Always check for cashback before you make any online purchase. 2 cents or 2 dollars, it all adds up.
  13. Make a shopping list. How dumb does that sound? But I mean that you should actually stick to the list. Don’t be forced into those impulse buys by Superstore or Loblaws. You don’t need 4 tons of milk chocolate.
  14. Regulate electricity. Turn off those bulbs when you’re not in the room. Or buy energy saver globes. Get a programmable thermostat. Don’t leave appliances on standby. Nuff said.
  15. Exercise Ball. Use an exercise ball instead of your office chair. Saves you on extortionate gym fees.
  16. Eat Soup. This foodstuff has a very low cost per portion when you make your own. You can make delicious soups, even freeze batches for future dinners. Why not try “cock-a-leekie.” It’s not rude.
  17. Go to movies early. Go to the movies before 6pm. The shows are cheaper. Also, be a cheapskate and sneak in your own snacks. Alternatively, rent DVDs online for a fraction of the cost. Entertainment doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg.
  18. Bottle water.Don’t buy that bottled water very often, it’s far too expensive. Use a refillable bottle and tap water from home. Invest in a brita water filter if necessary. Did you know that “Evian” spelled backwards is “naive”?
  19. Disconnect land line. Do you really need to pay for the line rental of the telephone? Haven’t you got a perfectly good mobile which you can use instead? If you can, get it cut off, don’t pay that unnecessary cost.
  20. Buy Generic. Does it matter if your cornflakes are Kelloggs or “No Name”??? For some basic foodstuffs, the brand names are really no different to the unbranded items. Give it a try and see, you’ll be surprised.

Ok, some of these ideas were just for fun… but you never know how much money you can save by just thinking about your habits and your spending. Be frivolous, but be frugal!

Thanks sujathafan and andrewinpompey.


  • Girle G.
    Such a bitter, bitter, gal. You should talk to a therapist or maybe get one of those happy lamps.
  • JD
    haha nothing wrong with a dash of bitter! Makes better reading than the moaning going on in the papers.

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